Bullying Among Youth — “Pinnacle of Truculence !”
Recently, one of my close acquaintances sent me an instagram post demanding justice for a class 11th student, who committed suicide by hanging herself in her maternal grandfather’s house. The reason being ‘mental & sexual harassment’ by two people. Prior committing suicide, the girl wrote a side note praising the good behavior of her maternal grandfather’s family and accusing the principal’s girl & another boy for harassing her.
That instagram post demanded shares as much as possible, so as to bring it in the mainstream media and thus, speeding up the judicial process. Sounds good ! The post not only revealed the face of the girl, but also didn't bother to hide her sensitive credentials, which is unethical.
Unfortunately this isn't the first and definitely not the last case of bullying among youth. The number of annual suicides due to the same as per the Gurugram based ‘National Crime Records Bureau’ (NCRB) is disturbing, let alone the suicides that go unnoticed.
How many more lives are we willing to be diminished before we actually acknowledge it's weightage as a consequential issue ?
In India, bullying isn't even considered as an issue to be paid heed to, from parents to teachers, from friends to colleagues, for them; it's a matter of “Overexaggeration of Frolic Behaviour”. While others let it go or depict ‘Casual Attitude’ towards, unless they're at the recieving end(s).
Probing for root cause might be an intricate task in this context, but eventually, it seems understandable in a culture where ‘parents hit their children even for minute things’, relatives; neighbours audaciously doing unnecessary ‘Moral Policing’, etc.
Researchers who study bullying have discovered that there is much more to bullying than meets the eye. For instance, many people once believed that bullying only consisted of physical intimidation & name-calling.
Ways of bullying someone might vary person-to-person, for instance, some bullies are guileful about how they target someone, while others are downright mean. By being aware of not only the types of bullying but also the types of bullies someone may encounter, one can be better equipped to help himself / herself in any situation(s).
But now with such progress in the field of psychology, six various forms of bullying can be tabulated :-
1. PHYSICAL BULLYING :-
It is the most obvious, seen and known form of bullying. It occurs when someone use physical actions to gain power & control over their targets. Physical bullies tend to be bigger, stronger, and more aggressive than their peers. Examples :- kicking, hitting, punching, slapping, shoving, and other physical attacks without any justifiable reason.
Unlike other forms of bullying, physical bullying is the easiest to identify because it can be perceived by one or more of your 5 sense(s). As a result, it is most likely what people think of when they think of bullying. Not only that, but also, it has historically received more attention other than more subtle forms of bullying.
A person getting beaten up mercilessly, only wishing to be dead by then shows how extreme the situation can go, leaving behind mental scars, anxieties, depression for years to tackle.
Or someone getting slapped in front of entire class just because his academic efforts are raising him in everyone's eyes, including the girl who appears to be the love interest of the same bully. In such a situation, retaliation seems like a mirage in the desert as these type of bullies deliberately eyeing for a physical clash. They're always ready for a street fight, having like-minded people on standby for the same. The humiliation that a bright student had to face for weeks is beyond words to express, violating the very “Right to live with dignity under Article 21”.
2. VERBAL BULLYING :-
Perpetrators of verbal bullying use ‘words’, ‘statements’, ‘one-liners’ and ‘name-calling’ to gain power & control over a target.
Verbal bullies use relentless insults to belittle, demean, and hurt their targets.
They choose their targets based on the way they look, act, or behave. It's unsurprising that why verbal bullies target people with special needs (physically / mentally challenged).
Verbal bullying is often arduous to identify because attacks almost always occur when their targets are alone or less gathered around. Eventually, it is often one person’s word against another’s.
Many a times peers feel that these things shouldn't impact others as one needs to find a way to adapt to it, so they tell the victim of to “ignore it”.
“Bodyshaming” is yet another subset of verbal bullying, where bullies are intolerant towards those not having similar body types.
Ectomorphic (skinny) & Endomorphic (Chubby / overweighted) often find themselves in the middle of taunts (subliminal & upfront), degrading comments and mocking. A majority of these people are also victims of “Physical Bullying” as well.
Bodyshaming also includes targeting boys having feeble or no facial hair growth, often stigmatized as ‘transgenders’ (किन्नर / मीठा / हिजड़ा / नामर्द इत्यादि), ‘Females from inside’ {अंदर से लुगाई (महिला)}, etc.
When did beard & moustache become a parameter for social approval of masculinity & gender, rather than being a by product of testosterone upsurge in adolescence ? And if yes, then who came up with this thought and what's the reason behind this ?
Certain research works have been conducted that has shown that verbal bullying has serious consequences and can leave deep emotional scars for years or decades to move on with.
3. EMOTIONAL BULLYING :-
It is is a sneaky & insidious type of bullying that often goes unnoticed by parents and teachers.
Also known as “relational aggression”, emotional bullying is a type of social manipulation where tweens & teens try to hurt their peers or sabotage their social standing. Relational bullies often ostracize others from a group, spread rumors, manipulate situations, and break confidences. Their goal is to increase their own social standing by controlling or downgrading another person. A teen or tween on the receiving end of emotional bullying is likely to be teased, insulted, ignored, excluded and intimidated.
Although It is common in middle school, but not limited to tweens. As a matter of fact, some bullying bosses and other workplace bullies also engage in the same. Prolonged provokation & unnecessary blaming takes a toll on the victim, which makes them vulnerable to depression & anxiety attacks. The “Cornering of a person due to socio-economic differences” in high schools is an unfortunate fact, whose roots lie in the upbringing. Humility & Empathy towards everyone, irrespective of his or her economic status is a product of positive upbringing. In such a situation, things take positive turn only if the victims decide to stand up for themselves.
4. CYBERBULLYING :-
Here comes the most sought after aspect of bullying post “Social Media Revolution”, in which people use the Internet, a smartphone, or other technology to harass, threaten, embarrass, blackmail, or target another person. If an adult is involved in the harassment, it is called “Cyber-Harassment” or “Cyberstalking”.
Examples of cyberbullying include posting hurtful images, making online threats, and sending hurtful emails or texts compelling the victim to take extreme steps, and much more. Because the youth is the backbone of internet consumer base, cyberbullying is a growing issue among them. It’s also becoming more widespread because bullies can harass their targets with much less risk of being caught.
Cyberbullies often say things in anonymity that they do not have the courage to say face-to-face. Technology makes them feel anonymous, insulated, and detached from the situation. To the targets of cyberbullying, it feels invasive and never-ending. Bullies can get to them anytime and anywhere, often in the safety of their own homes. As a result, the consequences of cyberbullying are significant.
In 2019, Maharashtra had the highest number of ‘Cyberstalking & Bullying incidents against women & children’ compared to the rest of the country, with nearly 409 cases registered with the authorities.Overall, the country recorded approximately 777 cases of such offences that same year. This category of crime came under the purview of IPC Section 354D.
5. SEXUAL BULLYING :-
Sexual bullying consists of repeated, harmful, and humiliating actions that target a person sexually, which might take a toll on their mental as well as physical health. Examples include sexual name-calling, crude comments, vulgar gestures, uninvited touching, sexual propositioning, and non-consentual exchange of pornographic materials.
A sexual bully might make a crude comment about a peer's appearance, attractiveness, sexual development, or sexual activity and even preference as well (homophobia).
Being attracted towards same sex is totally a subjective choice and it's acceptance is gradually increasing. To help LGBTQ+ tourists travel safely, the German portal “Spartacus International Gay Guide” started publishing the Gay Travel Index in 2012. In the 2020 edition, the ranking compared 202 countries and territories based on the situation of lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and queer people in their territories.
Tourism heavyweight Spain usually appears among the safest and most welcoming destinations for the LGBTQ+ community, followed by Austria, Argentina, Uruguay, the Netherlands and the UK. Contrary to this, the Republic of Chechnya in Russia scored poorly but was surpassed by Saudi Arabia and Iran as well as Somalia. The Middle East, North Africa and Central Asia were the regions least safe for LGBTQ+ travelers, while Latin America proved more welcoming than Asia – with the exception of Taiwan.
India, Nepal and Thailand were marked as neutral countries on the index.
Bullying experiences for the LGBTQ+ Community has been always a shame to humanity and India was no exception untill September 6, 2018, when the Supreme Court of India ruled that the application of Section 377 to consensual homosexual sex between adults was “unconstitutional, irrational, indefensible and manifestly arbitrary”, but it still remains in force relating to sex with minors, non-consensual sexual acts and bestiality (coitus between a person and an animal).
Urban & Sub-urban India witness a robust LGBTQ+ Community, due to feeble to good tolerance towards the same, which pretty much explains why India ranked 139 out of 149 countries in UNSDSN’s World Happiness Report 2021 (along with other factors).
The society as a conservative ecosystem is reluctant to accept & normalize the changes that come with time. Taunting, verbally degrading, boycotting someone on the basis of sexual preference is due to the reluctance to come out of one's own mental bubbles that they've created. People still consider homosexuality as a contagious ailment and not “A state of mind”.
In extreme cases, sexual bullying opens the door to sexual assault. Girls are often the targets of sexual bullying both by boys and by other girls. Boys might touch them inappropriately, make crude comments about their bodies, or proposition them. People might address girls with names like “slut” or “pimp” (बाज़ारू औरत / वेश्या / रण्डी इत्यादि), make insulting comments about their appearance or body, and engage in ‘slut-shaming’.
Sexting can also lead to sexual bullying. If a girl sends a photo of herself to a boyfriend, he may go onto sharing that photo widely if they break up, making her the target of sexual bullying because people make fun of her body, call her crude names, and make vulgar comments about her. Some boys may even see this as an open invitation to propose her or sexually assault her.
6. PREJUDICIAL BULLYING :-
It is based on prejudices tweens & teens have toward people of different customs, races, religions, or sexual orientation. This type of bullying encapsulates all the other types of bullying, in which people are targeting others who are different from them and not only singling them out, but also demanding the public as a whole to boycott them inside out.
Oftentimes, this type of bullying is severe and can open the door to hate crimes. For example: Amid pandemic, violence against Asian overseas migrants in USA took a steep rise.
We are taught that ‘A strong man shouldn't complain about his pain !’, boys are moulded in this notion by hook or crook, irrespective of the price one has to pay.
In a normally functioning human body, “decreased level of Serotonin is linked to depression”. But this notion of universal physical & mental tolerance that a boy or a man is subjected to, is reluctant to give it a second thought.
What's the point of moulding a boy into an emotionless robot, who eventually ends up ending his life ?
Prolonged emphasis on adaptation to this stereotype makes these boys passively abusive to his family, friends and even himself. (Other reason to be abusive to family is because they see their fathers doing the same.)
COMMON TYPES OF BULLIES :-
Bullies have different styles, personalities, goals, and behaviors. Their motivations for and methods of bullying are all subjective and drastically varying. Not all bullies will fit neatly into a category. Some bullies will fall into several categories and some may appear to be in a category all their own.
~ VENGEANCE BULLYING :-
Bully-victims often rise up after being bullied. They bully others weaker than them because they, too, have been bullied. Their goal usually is to regain the same sense of power & control in their lives that they somewhere lost to another bully.
This type of bully is omnipresent and can also be termed as “Bully Victims”.
In fact, a large number of people who bully others have been bullied themselves by peers. Their bullying is a way of retaliating for the pain they are feeling. Other times the bully-victim comes from a home with domestic violence or suffers abuse from an older sibling. In these cases, bullying is a ‘learned behavior’.
Most bully-victims are loners or fall at the bottom of the social ladder at school. This fact adds to the sense of powerlessness & anger they feel. Consequently, they often appear hostile, which can cause them to be unpopular. This, in turn, perpetuates the cycle of the bully victim.
~ POPULAR BULLIES :-
Popular bullies are ‘egoistic in nature’. They are confident and condescending. They usually have a group of followers and may feel like they rule the place they roam around. These bullies have a sense of entitlement that can stem from their popularity, size, upbringing, or socioeconomic status. They thrive on the physical power and control they have over their victims and may boast about their bullying.
Popular boys most often bully others through physical acts like pushing someone around, taking their personal stuff and intimidating them, while their female counterparts are more likely to use relational aggression. They spread rumors, are manipulative, and often exclude others.
Popular bullies are sometimes the school’s star athletes or perceived school leaders as well. They thrive on the attention and power they get from bullying. Peers often tolerate this type of bully because they would rather be accepted than bullied.
“Table No. 21”, a bollywood movie is based on this type of bullying, where an egoistic male protagonist with her girlfriend and friends touture an industrious student to such an extent that he loses his mental balance for life.
Interestingly, it is named after “Article 21 of the Indian Constitution”, which talks about the protection of life, dignity to life and personal liberty.
~ RELATIONAL BULLIES :-
The relational bully is usually a somewhat-popular student who enjoys deciding who is accepted at school and who isn’t and shouldn't be.
Exclusion, isolation, and ostracization are the most common weapons used by this type of bullies. Most often, the relational bully will use only verbal or emotional bullying to maintain control. Many times, mean girls are relational bullies.
Relational bullies also maintain their power by using rumors, gossip, labels, and name-calling and groupism. Typically, they target others because they are jealous, having inferiority complex or feel they are socially unacceptable. Maintaining popularity is the key reason for relational aggression. The relational bully will do anything to be part of the “in crowd.”
One of my close acquaintances recalls her memory of being left out and isolated, when she was unable to cope to the “Fluency & command over English” her counterparts were displaying. Her self-confidence was compromised, until it took her an year to adapt to.
~ SERIAL BULLIES :-
The serial bully is another type of bully often found in popular circles. These bullies are systematic, controlled, and calculated in their approach. Parents, teachers, and administrators may have no idea what a serial bully is capable of.
This type of bully appears sweet, charming, and charismatic to authority figures. But, they can be cold & calculating and tend to inflict emotional pain on their victims over long periods of time. Sometimes serial bullies will use physical bullying, but only if they can be sure they won’t be caught.
Serial bullies are skilled manipulators and liars and are usually fake friends. Their sweet and nice persona is just another way to manipulate situations to their liking. They are capable of twisting facts and situations to make themselves look innocent or to get out of trouble when confronted. In fact, serial bullies are often so skilled at deception that their victims often are afraid to speak up, convinced that no one will ever believe them.
~ GROUP BULLIES :-
Bullies in this category are part of a group and have a pack mentality when they are together. They tend to bully as a group but behave much differently when they are alone— “even if they are alone with the victim”.
Usually, group bullies are coterie that imitate the leader of the group and just follow along.
Because kids feel insulated when they are in a group, they often feel free to say and do things they won’t do otherwise. They also feel less responsible for their actions because “everyone else is doing it”. This is a very dangerous type of bullying because things can immediately escalate out of control.
~ INDIFFERENT BULLIES :-
These are often unable to feel empathy. As a result, they can often appear cold, unfeeling, and detached and have very little, if any, remorse for what they do to others. These types of bullies, although less common than the other types of bullies, are often the most dangerous.
Indifferent bullies are bullying for the sheer enjoyment of seeing another person suffer. They are not deterred by disciplinary actions. Additionally, indifferent bullies are often vicious and have deep psychological problems that need to be addressed by a professional. Traditional bullying intervention does not usually bring about change in their bullying patterns.
This type of psyche is similar to what we call “Cold-blooded Assassins” in criminology.
In an interesting observation in the results of Google Form provided to our contributors for this blog, a major influence of relation to the person bullied was found. The contributors were asked to choose which bully victim would they help foremost under identical conditions — sibling, bestfriend, close friend, known to each other, help anyone or won't help at all.
Following are the results :-
Prioritising & helping out your own blood or bestfriend than others is due to the evolutionary survival mind set of humans. This evolutionary inheritance of family first was necessary for our ancestors to stay alive during the budding days of humanity.
Practically thinking it's not as bad as it seems, but in other situations, it needs to be changed.
Despite of such disturbing numbers of annual suicides, bullying is still an underrated topic, which needs to be paid heed to. And the reasons vary from communication gap, competitive environment, abusive upbringing, stereotypes, shyness, introvertness, fear of being judged, stigmatization, over-pampering by parents, sense of eliteness, lack of exemplary punishments, lack of empathy towards others, lack of moral education, tolerance towards other's opinions, etc.
“As long there will be those who remain silent for the sufferers, these monsters will continue to haunt us as a society.”
Following can be some sturdy steps towards a more tolerant society with respect to the same :-
1. Right Upbringing :-
A seed sown in quality soil, fed with enough nutrients, taken care of regularly definitely yields robust fruits in good quantity. Similarly, as the first teachers of an infant, the parents have to be cautious of what their children are being raised with. If the foundation is weak, then the structure is bound to fall.
2. Moral Education :-
Moral Education is a multi-purpose tool to counter not only bullying, but also other social evils like rapes, conspiracy, violence, etc. The intention behind its implication shouldn't be competitive, but qualitative.
These Qualitative traits can't be assessed via pen-paper tests, their actual assessor is the life itself. Traits like empathy, tolerance towards others, brotherhood, humanity above all, care, humility, etc are the core pillars of an ideal society.
3. Disciplinary Actions :-
Schools, colleges, and workplaces need to have regular workshop sessions to let the beneficiaries talk their hearts out and if found anyone violating, should be suspended for longer time periods or relieved of duty immediately, depending on the intensity.
The current disciplinary action mechanism of various institutions looks promising on paper but lacks on ground execution, especially in high-schools.
4. Rule of Law is Supreme :-
There are 13 provisions of the IPC (Indian Penal Code) which can be used by a fresher who is being ragged to register an FIR (First Information Report) in the police station under whose jurisdiction-area the crime has taken place — from Section 339 to 351.
IPC doesn’t provide any section specifically for ragging or bullying. The laws for punishment for which vary from state to state. Punishments for ragging / bullying from state to state under Section 4 of respective Prohibition of Ragging Acts are :-
A. Chhattisgarh - 5 years imprisonment / fine upto ₹5,000 or both.
B. Tripura - 4 years imprisonment or fine or both.
C. Tamil Nadu, Kerala & Maharashtra - 2 years imprisonment or fine upto ₹10,000 or both.
D. West Bengal - 2 years imprisonment or fine which may extend to ₹5,000 or both.
E. Assam - 6 months imprisonment or fine which may extend to ₹10,000 or both.
F. Karnataka Education Act, 1983 - 1 year imprisonment or fine which may extend to ₹2,000 or both.
In addition to these some laws also provide for disqualification or expulsion of student from the educational institution on conviction on the charge of ragging. There also exists an “Anti-Ragging Online Portal” by UGC for maintenance of ragging reports.
The current Indian Judicial System possesses the capability of introducing dedicated provisions of harsh punishments against bullies, but the scope of ‘will’ as it's driving force is yet to be seen in the respective political manifestos.
Merely being World's 2nd most populous country would mean a burden if it's massive human power isn't utilised and utilisation would follow only if it is handled with care.
Special thanks to the following for their crucial inputs in content structuring :-
4. Tanya Sharma
5. Disha Gupta
7. Devsena
10. Anonymous (Didn't mention their names)
CREDITS :-
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